Alabaster Box
As I think back on my life, I realized that I was a prisoner inside of myself. I realized that even though I thought I was free, I wasn't. Everything that I wanted "of the world" was at my fingertips. Not good, I know NOW. But if it were not for this lesson, I wouldn't be who I am today.
My praise is not fake. I don't even have to tell you that. It doesn't matter what you think about me anyway. What I do know is that I was rescued from MYSELF! So much sin....lying, stealing, fornicating, ADULTERY! It was all apart of my life. I claimed to have Jesus, and I did. When I wanted Jesus. I didn't know Him though. Yes, I went to church and quoted Bible verses to the tee! Sang in the choir and shouted. Lead songs, directed the choir, taught VBS and even was the Church Secretary at my dad's church. Yep! On the outside I looked as if I had it going on. On the inside I was a mess! Screwed up, torn up! A mess.
Writing checks for whatever. Never stole a checkbook, but I wrote checks for stupid things. Bouncing them all over the place. They were falling off the trampoline and bouncing on top of one another on the ground. Moving to dodge the "bad check roundup" wherever we lived at the time. Just making it one step ahead. Knowing the entire time, I was going to have to pay for it all!
When God FINALLY came into my life FOR REAL....let me rephrase that: when I ALLOWED God to come into my life the way He should have been the entire time, it was relief. During my prison sentence I got so close to God, I could SEE Him walking with me. I could feel Him inside of me. And today, I still feel that.
Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to "know the cost of the oil" in our Alabaster Box. No one can tell your story like you can But God will draw somethings out of you that will MAKE you recognize Him for who He is! Me?! He saved me from myself. What I've been through is truly nobody's business but my own and I don't want the sympathy thing either. I share it because I truly have turned away from all those things that consumed me. I am FREE! DO YA'LL UNDERSTAND THAT?! I AM FREE! I held myself hostage and my own personal prison was FAR worse than any prison the state could have ever held me in. I was so free in that place that I had JOY! And that is something that NO MAN can take from you. When you find out the cost of the oil in your Alabaster Box, you want to shout it to the world! I had to go through so much hurt and pain. Not only did I hurt me, but I hurt my husband and my children. I hurt my friends and family. But none of us knew of the transformation God was about to make in my life. I lay at his feet constantly with tears. Praising Him. Thanking Him for all He has done in my life! All those doors I opened in my life I mentioned above, they are closed. I don't live there anymore! God has restored EVERYTHING that belongs to me. And THIS time I won't misuse or abuse it!
YOU don't know the cost of the oil, in MY Alabaster Box!
My praise is not fake. I don't even have to tell you that. It doesn't matter what you think about me anyway. What I do know is that I was rescued from MYSELF! So much sin....lying, stealing, fornicating, ADULTERY! It was all apart of my life. I claimed to have Jesus, and I did. When I wanted Jesus. I didn't know Him though. Yes, I went to church and quoted Bible verses to the tee! Sang in the choir and shouted. Lead songs, directed the choir, taught VBS and even was the Church Secretary at my dad's church. Yep! On the outside I looked as if I had it going on. On the inside I was a mess! Screwed up, torn up! A mess.
Writing checks for whatever. Never stole a checkbook, but I wrote checks for stupid things. Bouncing them all over the place. They were falling off the trampoline and bouncing on top of one another on the ground. Moving to dodge the "bad check roundup" wherever we lived at the time. Just making it one step ahead. Knowing the entire time, I was going to have to pay for it all!
When God FINALLY came into my life FOR REAL....let me rephrase that: when I ALLOWED God to come into my life the way He should have been the entire time, it was relief. During my prison sentence I got so close to God, I could SEE Him walking with me. I could feel Him inside of me. And today, I still feel that.
Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to "know the cost of the oil" in our Alabaster Box. No one can tell your story like you can But God will draw somethings out of you that will MAKE you recognize Him for who He is! Me?! He saved me from myself. What I've been through is truly nobody's business but my own and I don't want the sympathy thing either. I share it because I truly have turned away from all those things that consumed me. I am FREE! DO YA'LL UNDERSTAND THAT?! I AM FREE! I held myself hostage and my own personal prison was FAR worse than any prison the state could have ever held me in. I was so free in that place that I had JOY! And that is something that NO MAN can take from you. When you find out the cost of the oil in your Alabaster Box, you want to shout it to the world! I had to go through so much hurt and pain. Not only did I hurt me, but I hurt my husband and my children. I hurt my friends and family. But none of us knew of the transformation God was about to make in my life. I lay at his feet constantly with tears. Praising Him. Thanking Him for all He has done in my life! All those doors I opened in my life I mentioned above, they are closed. I don't live there anymore! God has restored EVERYTHING that belongs to me. And THIS time I won't misuse or abuse it!
YOU don't know the cost of the oil, in MY Alabaster Box!
Wow I love this, after hearing the song and finally reading the story in the bible it amazes me, she game God ALL that she had, we cant even give God half of us sometimes. I love your blog keep posting, definately will be on the look out for new post, check out my blog as well yourcaptspeaking.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThank you. You are right! We can't even give Him 5 minutes yet He deserves so much more. I am appreciative that the blog inspires you. I will definitely follow your blog as well. God bless.
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